


American Carnage

by Metatron



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Crack Treated Seriously, Dead People, Drabble, Fix-It of Sorts, Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 06:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9422165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metatron/pseuds/Metatron
Summary: “Please raise your right hand and repeat after me,” Roberts said.Oh fuck. Here we go.“I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear,” he recited.“I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear,” Trump repeated.Roberts felt like gagging.





	

Chief Justice Roberts, stood next to the podium, a pained look on his face. He forced himself to look at the sticky orange jowls of the man who… (gulp) in a few moments he would make the next president. The very thought pained him, but Roberts had taken an oath, and he knew that he had to do this, no matter how much he didn’t want to. He only hoped the American people knew that. 

He stared into Trump’s cold dead eyes as Melania held the Bible out so Donald could put his hand on it. Justice Roberts could feel the whole world looking at him in that moment, holding it’s breath, waiting.

Well, the there was no use delaying the inevitable. He took a deep breath.  
“Please raise your right hand and repeat after me,” Roberts said.  
Oh fuck. Here we go.  
“I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear,” he recited.  
“I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear,” Trump repeated.  
Roberts felt like gagging.  
“That I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States,” Roberts said, trying his best not to express his disgust on his face. He felt dirty doing this, and he had a feeling he’d never feel clean again.  
“That I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States.” Trump said, holding up his tiny hand.  
“And will,” Roberts continued, forcing himself on,”to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”  
“And will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”  
“So help me God,” Roberts said, less as part of the oath and more as a plea to the Almighty to forgive him for what he had just allowed to come to pass.  
“So help me God,” Trump concluded. So help us all, Roberts thought.

Gritting his teeth and forcing himself to smile, Justice Roberts stated,” Congratulations, Mr. President.” Oh yes, he was going to vomit.

He turned to leave, thanking every deity that his part in this was done, when something happened that nobody had expected.

Ted Cruz, who had been patiently waiting this whole time in his seat, jumped up and withdrew a pair of knives from his jacket.  
“Hey Donald!” he shouted, a wicked grin on his face. “Catch!”  
Cruz flung one of the knives and it landed directly in Trump’s chest. Screams erupted from everywhere and secret service rushed in to tackle the new first family.  
“THE DIE IS CAST! THE ZODIAC LIVES!” Cruz cackled, as he was swarmed by capitol security.  
Roberts gawked at the scene unfolding before his eyes. The man he has just administered the Oath of Office to was now lying on the ground, a knife in his chest, bleeding out as his family tried to staunch the bleeding.

“NOW!” a shout came, as Chris Christie jumped from the crowd, throwing his considerable body weight onto Mike Pence. From within the VIP seating area emerged a last alliance of politicians, in one final attempt to save their country from Trump. Marco Rubio launched himself at the secret service trying to clear a path to carry Trump in to the capitol, making way for the former presidents Carter, Bush, Clinton, and Obama to make a human barrier blocking the exit. The secret service agents raised their guns, but couldn’t bring themselves to kill the men they once swore to protect. 

Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders cornered Mike Pence, who was trying to crawl out from under Chris Christie.  
“Not so fast,” Bernie said, and Warren shoved Pence back under Christie, watching as the huge New Jersey Governor crushed him.

Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama wielded their shoes as weapons, stabbing their way towards where Trump was staining the carpet with his blood.  
Ivanka tried to block their path, shielding her father from the two women.  
“I won’t allow you to come any closer,” Ivanka said, holding out her arms.  
Michelle held her pumps threateningly, replying with quiet fury, “Move, or you will be moved.”  
Ivanka was spared from having to make a decision, though because in that moment Trump rose to his feet, eyes blazing with fury.  
“How dare you,” he spit out. “Listen, you little whores, I won. I won and I am the President, so how dare you defy me!”

He raised his fists and ripped a handgun from the arms of one of the secret service. Justice Roberts, who had been standing shell-shocked by the scene in from of him up to this point, saw murder in Trump’s eyes. He had to do something. He had to redeem the mistake he had just made.  
Roberts, acting on impulse, lunged at Trump before he could fire the gun. “Not my President,” he hissed. However, as fate would have it, Roberts tripped over his robes and came crashing to the ground at Trump’s feet. 

“Even you,” Trump spit, turning the gun on Roberts. “Looks like we’ll be having another vacancy in the Supreme Court.”

“NO!” a wheezy shout came from behind Roberts, shoving him out of the way just as Trump fired the gun. Ruth Bader Ginsburg fell to the ground, blood staining her robes. “Ruth!” Justice Roberts gasped out, but it was too late. 

“You…killed her,” Roberts said in shock.  
“Yes,” Trump said, grinning as secret service agents handcuffed Michelle and Hillary. He leveled the gun at Roberts again. “And now I’m going to kill you too.”

“No, you’re not,” said a quiet voice from behind Trump. Donald whirled around just as Paul Ryan stabbed a ceremonial sword through Trump’s gut. Trump gasped and collapsed to his feet, Ryan pushing the sword deeper. Trump laughed, coughing up blood. “Et tu, Ryan?” he sneered, softly.  
Paul Ryan’s hair was damp with sweat and rain, and it hung in his eyes as he glared at Trump with fury. “I will no longer be your bitch,” he hissed.

Trump laughed, while gasping on air and choking on blood. “You’ll…always be…someone’s bitch, Ryan,” whispered, as the light left his eyes. 

The rain was coming down harder, now. Justice Robert rose to his feet, surveying the carnage around him. Despite the deaths of Trump and Pence, he couldn’t help but feel that America had just sealed it’s fate. Perhaps this was the inevitable end, Roberts thought, watching the crowds scatter out on the national mall. Perhaps the only endings possible were bad ones, whether by Trump’s hand or theirs. Perhaps any way this turned out, America was fucked.  
He didn’t know.  
Maybe no one did.


End file.
